Tag Archives: television

crazy in love: dangerous behavior from fictional men

A man repeatedly tries to get you to go somewhere after you’ve said no. He holds you against your will, and insists he is in a relationship with you and he’s just trying to take care of you. Just when you think you’ve gotten rid of him, he shows up again, to tell you again how much he loves you.

This isn’t the beginning of a scary story. It’s describing many male fictional characters and how they woo their great loves.

In Under the Dome–the most recent example of this conundrum on my TV screen–Junior kidnaps Angie. He locks her in a storm cellar, tries to get her to dress up in a dress he chooses, and chains her so she can’t escape. Angie gets out, but later she runs into Junior and–surprise, surprise–he attempts to control her again. Junior’s constant refrain is that he’s taking care of Angie, doing it for her own good because he cares about her and the dome is making her sick.

And in the last episode the dome really did make her sick, and Angie had a seizure. So I guess Junior was right after all. And people on Twitter are talking about how cute they are and how attractive Junior is. (For the record, I am talking about the TV show. I think author Stephen King actually does a pretty great job portraying creepy, dangerous people as creepy and dangerous–not cute.)

In real life, this can be an incredibly dangerous situation, but our culture and our fiction keep telling men to not listen to women and to not leave them alone, all in the name of love.

Men are taught that if at first your girl says no, ask her out repeatedly until you wear her down. And then, of course, you’ll fall in love because persistence pays off. And women are taught they are rude ice queens if they say no to someone who tries so hard to show they care.

Edward should probably be arrested for his stalking, but instead Bella thinks it’s endearing. On the Secret Life of the American Teenager (yeah, I’ve seen every episode), Ben refuses to leave Amy alone because he just knows they will end up together, and it’s portrayed as sweet puppy love. Spike stalks and attacks Buffy, but they still hook up.

Look at other great fictional loves and you’ll see similar patterns, even with Cory and Topanga, The Great Love Story Of Our Time. Similarly, Carrie tells Big she never wants to see him again, right before he comes to Paris to save her.

And the worst part about it is that this “love” is celebrated. I can’t look at Twitter without seeing people talk about Junior and Angie, or shipping Spike and Buffy. There are probably more people on Team Edward than who voted in the last election.

Celebrating this is scary. Teaching young women and men that this is how relationships work is scary. Having someone refuse to hear your no is scary.

And we are adding to this culture of steamrolling women’s boundaries when we don’t recognize this behavior for what it is: dangerous, disrespectful, and manipulative.

Having someone ignore your needs isn’t a way to begin a love story. And if the guy who just asked you out on a date sneaks into your house to watch you sleep, for the love of God, call the police.

(The Gift of Fear does a really great job talking about this and how women can be safer in these situations. Everyone should read it–men, too.)

breaking bad (embroidery no. 13)

mini heisenberg embriodery

Today’s the day. The beginning of the end. I can’t remember the last time I was this excited about a TV show. It actually reminds me of when Harry Potter was coming out. The midnight parties, the internet message boards (remember those?), the guessing and wondering and talking in circles about how it would end. I love this kind of thing.

So in the spirit of my embroidery project, I made a tiny tribute to Walter White as Heisenberg. I thought about embroidering “I am the one who knocks,” and I still might. But his features are so perfect and distinct for an abstract image like this that I couldn’t pass it up. And I certainly would never say Heisenberg is cute but…

Continue reading “breaking bad (embroidery no. 13)”

under the dome: emergency kits

emergency pack rae's days

I have a friend who is always prepared. She has the band-aids, the directions, and the back-up plans. I’d like to have her in my corner if ever I see a disaster like a giant dome falling over my town. Which is something I think a lot about. Not just a dome–any kind of disaster. What would I do? How would millions of people get out of New York City when most don’t have cars? But seriously, if someone could tell me it would ease a lot of anxiety.

During Hurricane Sandy, and a few other storms we’ve had to button down our hatches for, I knew what I would need to grab to get out of the city if I needed to evacuate. Luckily, we had warnings for those storms, and I knew would eventually pass. In Stephen King’s worlds, it’s almost never that easy. As we saw in Under the Dome on Monday night, you have to be ready for every kind of disaster. Even–especially– for the one’s you’d never see coming.

So, basically, I should have made an emergency kit a long time ago. What would you need? Let’s start with the basics.

  • flashlight (with batteries)
  • bottled water
  • first aid kit
  • canned food/snacks
  • cat food
  • #fatcat’s carrier
  • swiss army knife
  • thermal blanket
  • maybe some different weather prep depending on your area
  • an extra phone charger probably couldn’t hurt (like this super cool solar charger!)

emergency kit

If you’re in Stephen King’s world, though, you might need some different things.

  • a Geiger counter, in case you run into radiation
  • a stake or cross, for any vampires in your small town
  • a current newspaper from your town, so in case you wander into any other worlds or time travel so you will know which world you came from and what day it was there
  • probably some penicillin, unless you are allergic to it like I am
  • a tranquilizer dart or two for any large, crazy animals. or people.
  • mayyybe think about keeping some extra propane tanks on hand
  • if you have guns handed down to you from your father and your father’s father and his father’s father, you should probably bring those, too

Anything else? What am I missing?

Also, I just read this thing on the Internet (because of course I did) about how if you are in a house and electricity went out and you don’t have water, you should check the freezer for ice cubes. Those will be safe to drink. Any other tips, figurative boy scouts of the world?

This is the one of a few Under the Dome related posts this week. Check back later for more, and you can see other posts here:

tv: under the dome (ep. 1)

Our world is getting smaller all the time. We’re more connected than ever–I was just in a meeting with colleagues from Paris, London, and Tokyo. They called in and participated in a meeting in New York. I took a vacation with my family, and we came from all over the country to meet in one place–in Florida, where none of us live.

That’s what makes Under the Dome so scary. When a dome falls over the town of Chester’s Mill, the world shrinks to the size of the town, and those who are inside lose their connections to the outside. Angie likens it to a fishbowl, but at least fish can be fed from the outside.

They can see through the dome, which almost makes it worse (but allows us to see some killer explosions). [SPOILERS] When Duke falls because of an exploded pacemaker, the U.S. military is bustling around just outside the dome’s boundary. They have the equipment to help, and the communication to get to a doctor, but they don’t even notice Duke go down. Linda is left alone with the dead sheriff, looking at all those resources just beyond her reach. (And it’s not like they could have helped him anyway.)

Duke dying was a twist, even though he dies in the book in the same fashion. The show has departed from the book in some cool ways, and because Duke was around for so long in the premiere, I thought they might have spared him. Or at least waited a few episodes. But his death, the only one so far of a character we’ve come to know a little bit, changes the game and raises the stakes. Now who will run the police force that Big Jim is so ready to increase? And what was Duke trying to tell Linda about the town?

A lot of Chester’s Mill is familiar to me, but these characters’ backgrounds and families are different from the book. This world looks just as interesting as the one I’ve read about though, and I can’t wait to see where these new mysteries take us. (Like why was Barbie burying Julia’s husband?!)

They’ve certainly taken us to some creepy places so far. The show, like many of King’s novels, did a good job of letting dread creep in, with images like a neatly halved cow and a messy arm that’s missing a hand. The seizures and repeated phrases (a technique King uses often) added a sense of doom as well. Junior, Big Jim’s clearly troubled son, went from creepy to campy and back again. But when he was creepy, he was really creepy.

I can’t wait to see more of Chester’s Mill, and to spend time with these off-kilter characters. The variations from the book will keep me on my toes, and so far the adaptations are smart and interesting. Hopefully you’ll keep watching with me–after all, we’re all in this together.

This is the first of a few Under the Dome related posts this week. Check back later for more, and you can see other posts here:

Under the Dome airs on CBS on Mondays at 10 p.m. Eastern. you can download the first episode from Amazon on June 28, I’ll update with the link when it posts. EDIT: The first episode is available!

valar morghulis (embroidery no. 11)

morghulis_MG_0746

Valar morghulis. All men must die.

This theme and these words come up over and over again in the Song of Ice and Fire books, the series that includes Game of Thrones and its sequels. As those who watch the show and read the books know, in George R. R. Martin’s world, a lot of men must die.

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game of thrones outfit inspiration: jon snow

I think we can all agree mostly everyone on Game of Thrones right now is losing. The Lannisters are down a hand and up two unwanted fiances. The Starks are all over the map, losing battles and friends. So I think Jon wins this week because he made it up and over a 700-foot wall made out of ice. Did you guys see that climb? Holy wow.

Jon has joined the Night’s Watch, where the men are nicknamed crows and wear all black. They have to bundle up because, well, it’s cold up there and they live on a giant block of ice. If we were to take Jon’s style and apply it to now, I think it would look something like this.

inspired by jon snow

A leather dress, feather coat, and a bracelet decorated with skulls? Seems like a pretty accurate representation of the Night’s Watch to me. But if you have to go out and not look like a super awesome, slightly trashy grunge heiress, maybe you’d try something like this.

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twin peaks

Have you seen Twin Peaks? I’m obsessed. I started watching it over the weekend, and eight episodes later I came up for air. The show follows the investigation of the death of Laura Palmer in the town of Twin Peaks, Wash. It’s super strange and super quirky and super gorgeous. The set and costume design are as distinct and lovely as the story and characters.

See?

twin peaks audreytwin peaks dr. jacobytwin peaks queen of diamondsThe colors are bold, the patterns are all over the map, and the style is carried throughout every scene I’ve seen so far. It makes me want to clash Hawaiian prints and stand in a severe, wood-paneled room while I talk about pie. But I have neither a Hawaiian-print shirt nor the ability to put wood panels in my apartment. So instead, I made some Polyvore collages with Twin Peaks in mind.

red and blackladylikehawaii

I am not sure who the killer is, but I am sure Twin Peaks will push my style to be bolder and, well, a little quirkier. So what do you think of the show!?